I’m a very emotionally driven person. After a big event, I usually collapse mentally. It’s always been like this and I’m aware. Back in the day I would not function for weeks after for example a championship. I would literally just lay down at home and eat. Depressed and empty – even if I had won a world title and accomplished exactly what I had trained and focused for. It wasn’t uncommon for me to gain 20-30lb after a competition in a few days. This would obviously set me back quite a bit, physically and mentally. My comfort is food. I would isolate. I didn’t know how to cope with my big emotions. What would pull me out of it was the next event. Back on track. Repeat it all again.
With time I have grown a lot, and realized a lot as well.
My match with Matt last week may have seem like an exhibition match and not real, but I really dug deep inside for that. I focused and trained for it. I wanted to prove to myself I could do it.
I was about 95 % in the zone of what I know can be my full potential. Which is far better than what I have felt recently.
If you have never competed in anything, you may not understand what I’m talking about. When you’re 100% sharp and in the zone, you’re unstoppable. I’m so grateful and happy I could get to that point mentally despite hosting the event, because doing both is NOT EASY. It’s been a long time since I felt that – 2021 against Irina Drieva at East vs West 1 was the last time. It makes all the difference in someone’s performance if the switch is on or off.
The time after a performance is just as important as the time leading up to it. If you do not take time to reset, it will catch up to you. But I know believe there is right and wrong ways to do that reset. Self care and self love is key. I think the point is to do whatever it is that makes you feel good.
This is what I did after my win last week:
- I prayed – I thanked God for giving me the strength and mindset to pull it off. I practiced a lot of gratefulness.
- I spent time with people who give me energy, and also spent time alone (not isolating, but to reflect and process)
- Ate anything and everything of my souls desire without guilt. For example; went to my favorite Mexican place (Rocco’s Tacos!! Their guac and wings are SO FREAKING GOOD OMG!) also had Italian one night and enjoyed it with a glass of red wine. I’ve been loose with my eating for a few days but it’s still controlled with enjoyment and not “binge’y” like back in the day.
- Slept in
- Went for walks like always
- I got a small hair cut (like an inch trim) and she schampooed and pampered me. It was nice!
- Listened to my favorite music and watched shows, read a book
- Cleaned, believe it or not its one of my favorite things to do. I feel uneasy by clutter and filth, so to clean my home felt good and refreshing.
- I took 4 days off the gym. It’s a big deal to me since I go every day. Maybe it wasn’t necessary, but I feel really good about it and ready to get going again. Yesterdays workout was a little bit of everything. Such a gift to feel free once in a while. Even if I love a routine, strictness and purpose, SOMETIMES it just feels good to “play” and it was a good workout to get it going again.
Anyways. I’m proud of myself for reaching this milestone in my life, the reset after a performance is just as important as the prep. Because it takes a lot out of you.
Thanks for reading!
